Women Over Fifty Who Travel Solo…Around the World. They Say You Can Too!

by Patti Huck | ADVENTURE, INSPIRING, PLAYING, TRAVELING | 5 comments

Women Over Fifty Who Travel Solo…Around the World. They Say You Can Too!

Have You Ever Wanted to Travel Solo? You know…just take off, all by yourself?

Have you always dreamed of traveling to exciting destinations. Flitting from here to there, drinking in the sights, experiencing the culture, actually seeing first hand all the exciting places you’ve only read about?

Are you a woman over fifty who would love to travel but circumstances have caused you to feel you’re not able to?

Is it because you have no one to go with you?
Are you afraid of traveling alone?
Is it because you can’t afford it?

What’s keeping you from seeing all the places you’ve always dreamed of? Do you really, really want to travel? The women you’ll read about below wanted it bad enough that they made it happen.

Most of these women felt the hardest part was just making the decision to do it. Some overcame their fear of traveling alone by first dipping their toe in with a short trip. Most dove in head first.

What would it feel like to sell everything you owned, stuff a backpack full of the only possessions you had left, and hit the road? No obligations and only adventure on your horizon?

The women below all travel. By themselves. They love it. In fact, they prefer it. Most of them are over 50.

Some are nomads with no permanent residence…going from one exciting destination to the next.
Some prefer luxury travel (but have found ways to experience luxury on a budget).
Some like getting into the nitty gritty of the cultures in places they stay, and live among the locals.

But what do they live on? How do they support their travels?

Some do house sitting. (House sitting in Italy? OMG, sign me up!)
Some work remotely at their regular profession from whatever country they’re currently exploring. Play by day, fire up the computer and work by night.

They’ll tell you exactly how they do it. The circumstances that caused them to make the decision to pack and go. They’ll tell you what it’s like to be completely on your own in a foreign country.

All of these women write blogs about their adventures. They share packing, safety, dining and etiquette tips for solo traveling that they’ve learned along the way. They share gorgeous photos from places some of us have only dreamed of going, and they tell us stories about their adventures.

They all have different stories, but the one thing it seems they are all saying is…

Anyone can travel, at any time, anywhere. You just have to decide to do it, and then DO IT!

So…grab your favorite beverage, settle in and prepare to be entertained. Clicking the red buttons will take you to each of their individual sites. Explore. Look at their photos. Visit the “About” pages on their sites to get to know them and their stories. I was fascinated. I’m sure you will be too. Enjoy!

Dyanne

TRAVELN LASS

So if it’s inspiration you’re after – a gentle nudge to make your own travel dreams come true, then you’ve come to the right place. Nothing gives me more pleasure than to think that my crazy travel tales (especially as a solo lass “of a certain age”) might inspire some other lass or lad (of any age) to follow their own brand of bliss, and just pop on a backpack and DO IT!

Note from Patti: This is one of my favorite sites. Dyanne is such an entertaining and engaging writer you feel as if she’s telling you stories over coffee. She’s down to earth and real, and just sounds like someone I’d love to know.

GO TO TRAVELN LASS

Barbara

HOLE IN THE DONUT

Working for years at a job she didn’t enjoy, Barbara kept asking herself “Who am I, why am I here, and what is my purpose in life?”After becoming ill and suffering for five years, she was finally diagnosed and treated for chronic Lyme Disease.

As soon as she was healthy enough, she left her job, strapped on a backpack, and traveled solo around the world for six months, determined to visit the places she’d always wanted to see.

Upon returning to the States in September of 2007, she rented an apartment in Florida and continued to travel more than half of the time, while simultaneously pursuing freelance writing opportunities. By the end of 2009 she was traveling so much that it made no sense to maintain a home base, so she sold or gave away her remaining furniture and hit the road full time.

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Sherry

OTTS WORLD

I am currently in my mid 40’s and have been traveling and living on the road (yes, homeless) since 2006. How did I become a digital wanderer, New Nomad, career break guru, and have the most enviable job in the world?

I’m Sherry, a corporate cube dweller turned nomadic traveler. I travel to off-the-beaten-path destinations to bring you unique travel experiences and photography. But it’s not just about travel, it’s also about life experiences of a middle age wanderer.

I quit my corporate IT job in 2006 and said goodbye to blackberries, meetings and New York City. My original intention was to simply take a career break and come back after a year and determine next steps. I traveled around the world to 23 countries, finding a new exciting world outside of my office walls. My eyes were opened to possibilities and the beauty of simplicity; I didn’t want to go back to my old corporate existence. Instead I sold my possessions and relocated to Vietnam for one year in order to keep traveling. To make money I taught ESL, sold photography, and started really working at building a blogging and writing presence, including launching my other career break travel website,

GO TO OTTS WORLD

Cheryl & Lisa

WHAT BOUNDARIES? TRAVEL

Before we started “What Boundaries? Live Your Dream!” we DID have normal jobs like everyone else. Really we did. But in 2007, we decided to sell everything and get an around-the-world plane ticket. This travel bug was only supposed to last 6 months, max. But somewhere along the way – we got hooked.

We’ve volunteered in South Africa and Mexico, WOOFed in Hawaii and New Zealand, and backpacked across Europe and Asia. So far, we’ve traveled to 5 continents, 48 countries and well over 250 cities. And we’re just getting started!

GO TO WHAT BOUNDARIES? TRAVEL

Leyla

WOMEN ON THE ROAD

Women on the Road is for women who are curious, smart, enterprising, enthusiastic, inspired or dynamic – women who want to see the world on their own terms, usually solo (though someone might occasionally tag along) but always independently.

Women on the Road is for women who are ready to take one big fat bite out of life and smack their lips in glee afterward.

Women on the Road shows you how any woman, of any age, can hit the road, on her own – and enjoy every minute.

GO TO WOMEN ON THE ROAD

Mary Jo

TRAVELING WITH MJ

MJ, is a traveler, travel writer, podcaster, and publisher. When she’s not on a trip, she’s planning or researching the next one and has a bag always packed, ready for the next great adventure. Her travel ethos is Value Luxury – that sweet spot where experience and price intersect to create WOW.

GO TO TRAVELING WITH MJ

Tam

TRAVELS WITH TAM

When I became an emptynester, I began traveling more adventurously, and solo, as well as writing about my journeys, and thus Travels with Tam was born! My posts include many photographs, so if you love travel photography, food, wildlife and underwater photographs, you have come to the right place. I share stories about traveling, food, luxury hotels, adventure trips, scuba diving, and citizen science.

I want to inspire others to get out and see the world, to expand their knowledge and enlarge their perspective. You can travel and “do good” for yourself, others and our planet at the same time!

GO TO TRAVELS WITH TAM

Penny

ADVENTURES OF A CARRY-ON

I’m a professional makeup artist with a bad case of wanderlust, an eye for detail, a WSET certified wino, and yes, I’m addicted to Italy.

A curious person, I’m interested in learning, creating, self discovery, connecting with people, having adventures, and discovering beauty. Travel writing and photography are just a way for me to express myself.

Adventures of a Carry-on is a place I’ve created to fill with all the things I find beautiful and inspiring – art, architecture, culture, people, food and wine and of course, travel!

What you will find at Adventures of a Carry-on

You might find me stomping through vineyards in the Italian countryside, or flying over Napa Valley wineries in a hot air balloon.

I will share first-hand accounts of the places I’m traveling to including; intimate details of tours, wineries, restaurants, hotels and more. Travel lightly, experience deeply is the way I like to roll.

GO TO ADVENTURES OF A CARRY-ON

Janice

Tracey

Solo Traveler World - solo travel | Women Over Fifty Network

Janice: A love of travel, personal loss and an empty nest all conspired for me to begin Solo Traveler in 2009. Resonating with thousands of readers, it quickly went from personal to public and the Solo Traveler Project began. Janice has been called the doyen of solo travel.

Tracey: One day, when I had dragged Janice out to yet another food and wine event, I was explaining what was special about each of the components of our meal: where the vegetables had been grown, how the cattle had been raised, and why the soil and climate of the local region resulted in a stunning wine. She invited me to write my very first post for Solo Traveler.

Now, as Editor and Food & Wine Travel Columnist for Solo Traveler, I eat, drink, and cook my way around the world, sharing my (frequently wonderful, sometimes unusual) experiences with readers.

GO TO SOLO TRAVELER WORLD

Susan

Solo Trips & Tips - solo travel | Women Over Fifty Network

SOLO TRIPS AND TIPS

You are never too old to start traveling solo. I was already 30 years old when I took my first overseas trip alone. Actually, I was 29 years and 300+ days. I celebrated my 30th birthday while in Singapore.

There is no right way or wrong way to travel solo. Not everyone should become a nomad. Although I do think everyone should give solo travel a try at least once in their life! Even if you just get out and explore your own city alone, that too could be your start to solo travel my friend 🙂

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Debbra

TROPICAL TRAVEL GIRL

Tropical travel has become my passion. I’ve never met an island I didn’t like, although I’ve liked some better than others. I’m often asked questions like, “What is your favorite island?” and “I’m thinking of going somewhere tropical on my next vacation. Where should I go?”

Through my destination content, blog posts, and photos, I hope to be able to help anyone interested in planning a trip to the tropics, and because every destination is different, I want to help you discover where your ideal island destination may be.

I’ll also be sharing information and advice about planning, packing, and how to navigate the ever-changing world of travel.

GO TO TROPICAL TRAVEL GIRL

Jennifer

SOLO TRAVEL GIRL

I founded Solo Travel Girl because I found myself traveling alone, not lonely. My personal experiences are meant to inspire and empower other travelers to shed their fears and travel solo. I admit to still having uncomfortable butterflies when dining alone in a chichi restaurant or participating in an activity geared toward couples or families but I shrug off my insecurities and indulge in the moment of discovery and adventure.

Topics I blog about include Florida, domestic and international travel, culinary, nature-based/outdoor adventures, solo travel, girlfriend getaways, product reviews and travels with a dog.

GO TO SOLO TRAVEL GIRL

Dr. Cacinda Maloney

POINTS AND TRAVEL

I have traveled every six weeks of my life for over 25+ years.

A Doctor by profession, I gave up my career six years ago to travel the world even more!

Points and Travel is not your ordinary travel and lifestyle blog. We are a travel resource of content related to destinations about adventure, culture, and smart luxury travel–maximizing dollars for the greatest luxurious experiences.

Storytelling and photography are my two passions. This is what I primarily do when I travel. Look for a great story about a place and then photograph it. My extensive travels have inspired me to write and share some of my extensive luxury travel experiences with you.

GO TO POINTS AND TRAVEL

Donna

NOMAD WOMEN

The whole point of Nomad Women is to help you, inspire you and empower all you current and future mature, experienced, wonderful Nomad Women, to get up, get out and see the world!

If you have any questions or comments that can help me achieve that, I want to hear them!

GO TO NOMAD WOMEN

Do you know of any Over Fifty Women Solo Travelers that I missed? Shout them out in the comment below. Or if you’re a Solo Woman Traveler, be sure to comment with the name of your site!

Until next time…peace out.

Patti Huck image and signature

“This Ain’t Your Mama’s Wedding!” A Mom Helps Plan Her Daughter’s Wedding

by Patti Huck | GUEST POSTS, LIVING | 5 comments

“This Ain’t Your Mama’s Wedding!” A Mom Helps Plan Her Daughter’s Wedding

I’m so happy to share this post by another member of the Women Over Fifty Bloggers community. Reading her story brought a tear to my eye remembering my own daughter’s wedding and feeling the same shock when helping her plan (and pay for) it. Time is definitely marching on and nothing seems to escape modernization. But…there are still some things that will never change. Enjoy Mary Jo’s story, and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments below.

GUEST BLOGGER: MARY JO MARTIN

Blogger: Visiting the Gray Planet

Mary Jo is a happy-to-be 57-yr old blogger living in Denver, Colorado. She launched her lifestyle blog for middle aged women in April of this year. Her writing focuses mainly on aging parents, retirement and gray hair.

Mary Jo states that aging is like grade school math: “you’re going to add some things and subtract some things”.

When confronted with the realities that growing older brings, she feels it’s easier when you have good information and you know you’re not alone.

Weddings Have Changed (and that’s putting it mildly!)

My daughter got married last summer which made me a first-time mother of the bride.

The night they got engaged was magical. I remember the young man who couldn’t quit smiling and the future bride glowing with love and excitement. Now I know what they mean by “love is in the air.” As I was glowing with pride and soaking this all in, the arresting thought that we would be putting on a wedding hit me. It was the first of many shocking realizations I was about to discover.

I got married in 1987 and had a lovely wedding very much in line with the standards of the ’80’s. Perms for all! My mother and I planned everything together. We bought 1 bridal magazine and talked to friends who had wedding experience. In a moment of liberalism, we let my groom-to-be choose his own clothes for the wedding. Other than that, his job was to have his mom call me so we could compile a guest list.

So imagine my surprise, when my future son-in-law wanted to be involved in planning his wedding. Apparently this is a thing now: couples planning their wedding together.

I was already a little off-kilter, this being the first wedding in my family with me a member of the older generation. While my daughter’s friends, in their matching bridesmaid dresses, were out on the dance floor, my friends from college and I were competing in the “most years married” contest.

As the planning process began, I couldn’t believe how much had changed since I planned my wedding…

Engagement Pictures

When did engagement pictures become a necessity? In the 1980’s, wealthy people occasionally did that for the newspaper but no one else did. Apparently now, this is one of the first things to be scheduled.

Invitations

While the happy couple was busy choosing coordinating outfits for pictures, I was contemplating the wording of the wedding invitations. Sadly, neither of their parents are still married (to each other anyway) so to include the names of all involved along with the date, would lead to a lot of extra wording on the fancy 5 x7 invitations with the scroll-y lettering… May eighteenth two thousand seventeen…you know, in the proper way that we did it back in the 80’s.

I was in for another surprise! The modern couple chose a tri-panel invitation that included no scrolls and no awkward listing of parent’s names. They filled the panels with adorable engagement pictures and information about the wedding. In addition, there were no RSVP cards! Nope. We do all that on line now.

When I was engaged, my mom kept track of all my wedding guests on 4 X 6 index cards stored in a shoe box. A 4 x 6 card was big enough to keep track of the date the invitation was mailed, their response to the RSVP, the gift we’d received and when we’d sent the thank you. I kept this box for decades because it reminded me of the excitement of planning the wedding and of all the people who were there.

Wedding Website

Soon after the engagement pictures were taken, the groom-to-be started working on their wedding website. The website includes a small data base of guest information. This is necessary for sending emails and Facebook invites so all their friends could save the date.

There’s also a section for a biography of the couple and each attendant. This does takes some of the mystery out of the actual ceremony. We used to sit in the pews and speculate, “Is that the bride’s sister? Who do you think that man is?” Now we know everyone’s full name, how they met the bride and groom, and we are also able to read their messages of congratulations on the website.

Cakes

One very good development in wedding planning is cake tasting!

The Groom-to-be was out of town during the cake-testing event, so I got to go! The bakery had 60 different types of cake flavors. 60! We narrowed our choices down to 6 and emailed the bakery so they could prepare.

When I got married, my cake choices were white, lemon, and poppy seed.

Here’s a tip for cake tasting day: If you’re going to eat 6 cupcakes with icing at 10:00 in the morning, you are going to want milk. You are also going to want to lay down when you get home.

It is now becoming common to skip the cake entirely and have other fun desserts like pie or donuts. What? I thought marriage only became legal after the couple fed each other a delicate bite of cake! They tell me this isn’t true.

Getting Inspiration

I don’t know how modern brides (oh, and grooms) ever make a decision on anything with access to so many choices. Pinterest is inspiring, but it also raises the bar on individuality. In addition to picking a dress and attendants, the trend now is to have a wedding theme: “Island Paradise”, “Wedding in a Barn”, “Summer Romance”, “New Age Bohemian”.

Of course your guest book also needs to reflect your theme. Your guests may be signing a picture frame, a log, or possibly even a surf board. Gone are the stiff little white guest books of my day.

Reception

In the 1980’s, entertainment at the reception was limited to throwing the bouquet and watching your parent’s friend’s try to dance after a few drinks. Now we have photo booths and games. Signature cocktails and slide shows. Popcorn bars. Serve yourself candy tables.

When I got married, a first class wedding gave out Jordan almonds wrapped in netting and called it good.

Planning the modern wedding was an eye-opener for me, and a challenge learning to adapt to all the changes. But with the planning over, the big day had finally arrived.

The Wedding Day

The bridesmaids giggled and fixed their hair. The bride and groom’s families got acquainted; trying to make a good impression. The wedding guests gathered and reflected fondly on their own wedding day.

The Father-of-the-bride misted up as he walked his daughter down the aisle.

The happy couple made solemn vows and anticipated their future together.

They started their newly married status surrounded by the love and good wishes of friends and family.

You know…the way weddings have always been.

You can follow Mary Jo on Pinterest HERE, and visit her blog VISITING THE GRAY PLANET for other great stories.

Until next time…

Patti Huck image and signature

Are You Over 50 and a Night Owl? Wake Up and Smell the Coffee.

by Patti Huck | AGING, LIVING, SLEEP | 18 comments

Are You Over 50 and a Night Owl? Wake Up and Smell the Coffee.

I’m a night owl. When I think back, I guess I always have been. The fact that I’m also a teeeeny bit on the obsessive side has a little something to do with it.

For instance, I’ve always loved to read. Normally someone will read until “bedtime”, slap a bookmark in, and pick up where they left off the next evening. Nope. I remember even way back to my grade school years staying up half the night to finish a book I’d been reading.

I don’t like being told what to do. I don’t like rules. And apparently, I don’t like a predetermined “bedtime”.

Having been a single mom who worked from home and had very active kids, I savored the quiet time after they were asleep, and usually extended it into the wee hours of the morning.

Throughout my life, even after my kids were grown and even after I had remarried at 50, I still continued that routine. I’ve owned few online businesses, and discovered that I did my best work after 11 p.m. No phone calls, no texts, no emails that needed immediate replies. I could focus better without interruptions, and my time was my own.

I’m sure you’re asking by now, “so where are you going with this?”. Well, here’s the deal. Lately I’ve been thinking that I may not be able to stay up half the night anymore, and function on just 3-4 hours of sleep. Wha-a-a-t? I know – to most this is a no-brainer. To me, it was a shock.

I’d been waking up tired (a lot of times late in the morning), and was annoyed as soon as I saw the clock because I’d lost half my morning. I’d go through the day in a pissy mood, draggin’ ass, not feeling like exercising, irritable, grabbing a handful of…whatever any time I passed through the kitchen, and feeling every single one of my 63 years. I drug myself through my days only to stay up late again that night. It was a vicious cycle.

Every night I’d make my to-do list for the next day (I’m a major list-maker). It started at 7 am: Get dressed. Walk. Shower. Water plants. Clean up kitchen. Make bed.

During my supposed “focused” time while I was writing my list, it all seemed so doable. I loved that my chores and exercise would be done by 8:15, then I’d start my work day. But like the saying goes, “It looks good on paper”.

Each day I’d get up late, and right off the bat be behind. With emails already piled up needing attention, calls needing to be returned, decisions needing to be made, I was forced to start eliminating things on my to-do list. Guess which item never made the cut? You guessed it. Exercise.

I’d beat myself up for what I hadn’t gotten done, and stress out about what I still needed to do. My mind was very rarely in the present moment. I couldn’t focus on getting one thing done, because I was distracted by the bazillion other things dancing around in my head, or scattered across my desk.

My husband, who’s a schedule person, has been trying to convince me for years that I’d have more energy and be more productive if I went to bed earlier “like most people”, and got up earlier in the morning. I’m not one that’s good with schedules or restrictions. I have trouble doing something because it’s what “most people” do, or because “it’s good for me”. So I basically told him to mind his own beeswax.

In my mind I’m still 40, but this ol’ body hasn’t seen 40 in quite a few years, and I knew that sitting all day at my computer wasn’t doing it any favors. I was well aware that I needed to exercise and take care of myself, and not doing it was stressing me out. I knew I needed to make a change or I was going to stroke out.

So this morning, I got up at sunrise, put on the cool Nike’s my daughters gave me, and planned on taking a quick walk. It was already warm out, but not hot. It was quiet.

When I headed out my driveway and clicked START WORKOUT on my Map My Walk phone app, I had the normal chaos filling my head, but after a block or two, the chatter quieted a bit and I started to actually look around me. As the sun came up, I noticed how incredibly clear and blue the sky was. I could smell the flowers in the yards I was passing. I was aware of the birds and the sounds around me. Even though I was walking at a pretty fast pace, it seemed effortless. That thought filled me with gratitude that I’m physically able to walk without pain.

That one thought started a snowball effect. Instead of the usual mental lists, my head was filled with only thoughts of gratitude. I was grateful for the life I’d been given and that I’m still here to live it when so many others weren’t able to.

And it continued…I was grateful that my kids are all healthy and happy, that I’m still madly in love with my husband who has stuck with me through the good and the bad. I was thankful for my health, for the work that I’m passionate about and am able to do from home… Our home… My determination… My empathy… Our grandkids… My friends… The closeness that I have with my family.

I didn’t want to stop walking. My body felt strong and my mind uncluttered. For 30 minutes, I’d found quiet and peace within myself.

Returning rested and clear-headed, I realized I got more out of my half hour walk this morning than the four hours I normally spend, late at night, in my quest for quiet time. I loved being in the moment. I hadn’t visited it in a very long time.

Damn I hate it when Paul’s right.

So I suggest to you, take a breath today. Look around you. Take a minute and be thankful for what you have. It’s the little things that go unnoticed, the things you don’t see that you take for granted. Acknowledge them. Don’t live so strongly in the past or the future that you aren’t able to see the present. Life is short.

Until next time…

One Size Fits…None. The Dressing Room From Hell.

by Patti Huck | AGING, LIVING | 1 comment

One Size Fits…None. The Dressing Room From Hell.

Hey all!

I’m thrilled to be sharing this post with you! You know how much I love connecting you with other women over fifty bloggers, right? Well, let me introduce you to Marcia Kester Doyle. Marcia writes about all the pitfalls of aging on her blog “Menopausal Mother“, but helps us laugh about them. She was kind enough to let me share a chapter from her book “Who Stole My Spandex? Life in the Hot Flash Lane“. I’m pretty sure you’re going to love Marcia.

Be sure to comment below to let her know if you can relate to her experience going clothes shopping!

GUEST BLOGGER: Marcia Kester Doyle

Marcia, a humor blogger, muses on the good, the bad, and the ugly side of midlife mayhem. Give her a glass of wine and a jar of Nutella, and she’ll be your best friend. It’s rogue humor at it’s finest!

She is a BlogHer Voice of the Year 2014 recipient and VoiceBoks Top Hilarious Parent Blogger 2014. She was also voted as a Top 25 Blogger in the Circle of Moms Contest 2013. She is a native Floridian and married mother of four children, as well as being a grandparent to a feisty toddler

One Size Fits None. The Dressing Room From Hell

I hate shopping for clothes, which explains why I’ve never been accused of being a fashionista. It also explains why my daughters always call to ask what I’m wearing before bringing their friends over to the house.

After birthing four babies by C-section, I now find shopping for clothes less enticing than a root canal. I might enjoy it more if I was twenty-five pounds lighter, because shopping just isn’t as fun when I have to head straight for the Woman’s Plus department, where everything comes in black, white, or shower-curtain pattern.

My husband often accompanies me during my clothes hunting expeditions, usually because he is: a) bored with all five hundred cable channels, b) in need of replenishing his tube sock collection, or c) wanting to make sure I don’t spend all my cash on animal-print house dresses and takeout from Burger Barn. He parks his butt on a sofa outside the changing rooms and plays with his phone while I’m pondering the age-old question of zippers versus control-top panels.

I try to be frugal while I shop, but the problem with the clearance section is that there are only two clothing sizes left on the rack by the time I get there—hummingbird and mastodon. It’s always a challenge to find an outfit that doesn’t leave me looking like the exploding dough from a tube of Pillsbury crescent rolls.

It’s the same adventure every time I go shopping. I shoot past the regular lingerie (like I’ll ever be able to squeeze myself into a hot fuchsia number the size of a rubber band) to the “Full Figure” aisle, where the bras hang like double-boulder slingshots. Then I whiz past the shoe section, jewelry department, and all those adorable maternity outfits. I think, “Oh, look at the cute, faux-denim stretch pants designed to hide a pregnancy bump!” before self-consciously rubbing my stomach. Nope, no baby in there—just the jelly roll the last kid left behind.

Once I’m able to find a dress that doesn’t resemble a large paint tarp, I grab a few more items (twelve, actually, because I have no idea what the size du jour is going to be—I need a sampler platter of three different sizes for each outfit). I then head for the dreaded dressing room with an armload of clothes that will most likely end up back on the rack. It’s always at this moment that I wish I lived in the 1500s, where everyone bought one-size-fits-all clothing from Dirty Smocks “R” Us, and dressed by dim candlelight to mask the effects of a stout-and-potato diet.

I’m wary of stepping into dressing rooms because I know there are some shoppers who use these cubicles for more than just trying on clothes. I know this because several of my children have worked in major department stores over the years, and they’ve shared a few nightmare tales that have scarred me for life. Department stores should consider posting helpful signs to keep paranoid people like me from worrying about stepping into DNA samples left by the previous occupants. The signs could flash messages like “FECAL-FREE ZONE!” or “MOTEL 6 IS DOWN THE STREET … THEY’LL LEAVE A LIGHT ON FOR YOU!”

Wishing to God for a shot of liquid courage before I enter the “chamber of truth,” I stall by the clearance rack for a few more minutes, until a skinny, perky salesclerk approaches me. She asks if I’m ready to try on my new clothes, and her chipper tone sets my teeth on edge. Can’t she see I’m breaking into a sweat over the fact that my actual dress size is about to be revealed?

I’m ushered into a mirrored cubicle the size of Thumbelina’s closet, and told to “have fun” while trying on the clothes. Have fun? The only way that would ever happen is if the dressing room included a well-stocked mini fridge. No, this is where the true horror begins. I shimmy out of my old, comfortable clothes and cringe as I view myself in panoramic funhouse mirrors that display my front, back, and sides. I’m immediately reminded of a peeled potato.

Concluding that the department store must have gotten a really good deal on mirrors from a traveling circus, I weed through my pile of clothing. One floral-print dress is reminiscent of something my grandmother wore in 1939. An orange blouse makes me look like an Oompa Loompa. An ill-fitting pair of jeans causes my flesh to ooze out over the waistband like Play-Doh. To make matters worse, I’m having to struggle into all of this torturous clothing under unflattering fluorescent lights that expose every fold, flap, bulge, and scar bestowed upon my body by childbirth and years of yo-yo dieting.

I decide on a few items of clothing that promise to lift, tuck, flatten, and flatter the body, and I notice that everything I’ve chosen is: a) made of NASA-approved spandex and b) one shade—black. So what if I end up with a bag of clothing resembling a mortician’s closet?

I approach the checkout counter, and it never fails—there’s always an angry woman ahead of me shouldering three returns and a missing receipt. To top it all off, she was clearly once the president of her high school debate team. My eye starts twitching as she engages in refund warfare with the young girl behind the cash register. Obviously neither one of these women knows that I’m already two hours late to walk a dog known for his daily bouts of IBS.

Once home, I face the daunting task of cleaning out old clothes to make room for the new. I’m a firm believer in recycling, and have found some creative ways to repurpose my granny panties with a needle and thread. With a garbage bag full of threadbare underpants and a few quick stitches, I can make an outdoor patio umbrella, a tent for camping trips, or an heirloom quilt for the grandkids.

I try the new clothes on again in the privacy of my own bedroom, but they don’t look as good as they did in the dressing room. This just confirms what I’ve believed all along—that department store mirrors are designed to make every woman appear as shapely as an hour glass. When I look in my own mirror at home, all I see is a potato dressed up in a shower curtain. A black shower curtain.

Chances are good that I’ll be returning all of my one-size-fits-none clothing to the mall—but only after a quick stop at the Burger Barn.

Marcia has written for The Huffington Post, Humor Outcasts, In the Powder Room, and What The Flicka.

She has been featured on numerous sites such as Scary Mommy, BlogHer, The Erma Bombeck Writer’s Workshop, Midlife Boulevard, Boomeon, and BA50 among others.

She is a contributing author to the following books: The Mother of All Meltdowns, Clash of the Couples, Motherhood: May Cause Drowsiness, Sunshine After the Storm, To Bliss and Back, Parenting Gag Reel, and will be featured in the forthcoming anthologies: Surviving Mental Illness Through Humor, Mom for the Holidays, and How Can You Laugh at a Time Like This?

Who Stole My Spandex? Life In The Hot Flash Lane is available on Amazon in both Kindle and Paperback formats.

Click Here to Get Your Copy Now on Amazon!

Somebody Said That It Couldn’t Be Done – A Memory From Catholic School

by Patti Huck | CATHOLIC SCHOOL, MEMORIES, NOSTALGIA

Somebody Said That It Couldn’t Be Done – A Memory From Catholic School

When I went to Catholic school, one of the things that the nuns put a lot of emphasis on was memorization. We memorized long-ass prayers. We memorized the Latin words to hymns for choir.

Every week everyone had to choose, memorize, and recite a poem in front of the class. When your turn came, you had to be prepared – the nuns didn’t tolerate anything less. There were days that I was sweating it out at my desk while I struggled with a particular line trying desperately to commit it to memory while waiting for my turn.

As much as I resisted most of the rituals I experienced in my eight years at St. Paschal’s, I have to give those nuns kudos for their teaching methods. Not only did this particular exercise teach me to appreciate poetry, and read about authors of long ago, but in an attempt to memorize a long poem, if there were words or phrases that weren’t familiar to me, it forced me to look them up. Those nuns knew exactly what they were doing!

Once I understood the word or phrase, the meaning of the poem became more clear making it easier to memorize. I was then able to inject a little emphasis and personality into it that helped me entertain some very bored classmates instead of standing up there in front of everyone, sweating like a mutha and just regurgitating words.

In sixth grade I chose a particular poem in Sister Mary Kathleen’s class that has stuck with me. I recited it often to my kids as they were growing up, and I’ve called on it repeatedly to help pull me up by my bootstraps throughout my entire life.

Some things never go out of style. I hope you find inspiration in this quirky little poem and that it gives you encouragement and determination at times you may need it, just the way it has me and still continues to…

It Couldn’t Be Done

Somebody said that it couldn’t be done

But he with a chuckle replied

That “maybe it couldn’t,” but he would be one

Who wouldn’t say so till he’d tried.

So he buckled right in with the trace of a grin

On his face. If he worried he hid it.

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it!

Somebody scoffed: “Oh, you’ll never do that;

At least no one ever has done it;”

But he took off his coat and he took off his hat

And the first thing we knew he’d begun it.

With a lift of his chin and a bit of a grin,

Without any doubting or quiddit,

He started to sing as he tackled the thing

That couldn’t be done, and he did it.

There are thousands to tell you it cannot be done,

There are thousands to prophesy failure,

There are thousands to point out to you one by one,

The dangers that wait to assail you.

But just buckle in with a bit of a grin,

Just take off your coat and go to it;

Just start in to sing as you tackle the thing

That “cannot be done,” and you’ll do it.

EDGAR ALBERT GUEST

1881-1959

Did anyone else go to Catholic school? Do you have any poems, quotes or mantras that get you through tough times? I’d love to hear them. Please share yours in the comments below.

Patti Huck image and signature

Inside The Mind of a Perfectionist-Part 2: 11 Personality Traits of Perfectionism.

by Patti Huck | PERFECTIONISM, PERSONALITIES | 2 comments

Inside The Mind of a Perfectionist-Part 2: 11 Personality Traits of Perfectionism.

We’re Talking About Perfectionism…

This is part two of a two-part blog series about the misconception of a perfectionist being someone who does everything effortlessly and perfectly…umm…wrong. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, click here real quick to get up to speed, then meet us back here. We’ll wait.

In Part 1, we identified six traits:

You have trouble relinquishing control.
You are driven…sometimes to obsession.
You have difficulty making decisions.
You need to be productive and never waste time.
You procrastinate (having trouble getting started)
You say “Should” a lot (you have demanding standards for yourself & others)

Let’s move on to discover the remaining 5 traits of perfectionism.

(Click the black + in each of the blue boxes below to see explanations of each personality trait)

“Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for ‘better than yesterday’.”
― Izey Victoria Odiase

In Part 1, we left off with me being frustrated that I hadn’t felt like writing a blog I needed to write. Do you think I got it together and ended up writing it the next day?

Nope. I wasn’t ready.

I didn’t have all the information I needed to do it right. If I didn’t write it, I couldn’t fail. So I didn’t write the blog that day.

I didn’t write it the next day either. Then we went out of town for a few days. When we came back, I had to catch up, so I didn’t write one that week. Maybe I needed to rethink the angle I was taking. I might go a different direction with it. I decided to do it next week when I was more prepared.

Trait #7. You Procrastinate (have trouble finishing)

You’re never completely confident that you’ve included every detail that you feel is important. There’s always that ‘one more thing’ to add that would make it “perfect” and in your mind feel complete.

You don’t like to fail at anything, so you tend to have trouble wrapping things up to instead “think about it a little longer”, or “do it better”. If you don’t finish, you avoid the possibility of being judged, but by continuing to delay the completion, you’re causing yourself additional anxiety.

Let’s talk about cleaning house

When my husband and I were dating we lived three hours from each other and spent a lot of time on the phone. We shared so many of the same interests it was uncanny, but when it came to our personalities and how we went about doing things, we were polar opposites.

One night during one of our phone calls when he told me he’d been vacuuming, I remembered him telling me the night before that he’d just finished dusting. I thought he might be some kind of clean freak, so I asked him what was up. He said he cleaned a little bit every night…tub and toilet one night, kitchen floor the next, etc.

To me (a perfectionist) that was just plain weird. If you mop the kitchen floor and the rest of the kitchen has to wait four days to be cleaned, the floor’s dirty again. Your house is never completely clean. If I can’t clean the house completely and thoroughly, I just “pick up” until I can. He goes to the store for one or two items several times during the week. I go once and shop for the week. He reads a couple pages of his book each night. I’ll stay up half the night to finish a book.

Trait #8: You have an "all or nothing" attitude

You think in extremes. You’re either all in, or you’re not in at all. You rarely dip your toe in. If you can’t do your best work, you don’t want to do it at all. If you don’t have all the tools you need for a project, you’re not likely to “make do” with the tools you have – it has to look like the picture, or it’s not good enough.

If you can’t catch on quickly to something you’re trying to learn, you’re likely to abandon it – if you can’t do something well, you’d rather not do it at all.

This trait sucks when you’re attempting to kick a habit, ie. when I smoked. I’d go three days without a cigarette, and on day four when I caved and had one, I chose to smoke that whole pack and quit “fresh” the next day. Cold-turkey, no tapering off. Same with dieting. I’d do well for a week, fall off the wagon with one bowl of ice cream, spend the next week eating everything I’d been craving, then re-start my diet on Monday.

You’re hard on yourself

You’re not only hard on yourself, but on others. You expect a lot of yourself and others. You’re the first one to notice a spelling error. If you should make a spelling error yourself, you’re mortified.

Here comes the differences again between my hubby and I. When there’s something that needs doing at the house, a lot of times he’ll just get it done. Usually while he’s busy getting it done, I’m at my desk checking ideas on Pinterest, and then planning out the best way to go about it. I get annoyed at him because I feel he rushed through it and did a half-assed job. He gets annoyed at me for always over-thinking everything, and feels no matter what he does, it won’t be right. (We actually get along really well although I know I’m not making it sound that way 🙂 )

Trait #9: You can be overly critical

You’re usually the one to take on more than you can handle…but you give others the impression you can. Sometimes you take on extra tasks because you’re not confident others will do the job well enough.

You don’t like making mistakes, and you’re disappointed in yourself when you make them. You’re critical (not always verbally, but in your head) of others doing a task poorly, and can easily get annoyed when they make mistakes. You sometimes have unrealistic expectations and are always striving for perfection. It’s all about the end result.

To-do lists are your friend

Do you make to-do lists? They’re helpful, right? I agree. I write a bullet list every night of things I need to get done the following day. Once I complete something from my list, I highlight it in yellow.

We all know though that unexpected things pop up every day. So there’s a joke at our house. When I finish a chore, my hubby says, “Was that on your list? You better add it!” I realize that this is the most ridiculous thing ever, but it’s true. If I do something that wasn’t on my list, I actually do write it down just so I can highlight it as having done it. I love seeing my list at the end of the day with all my items highlighted in yellow.

Trait #10: You like precision

You have a very specific way you feel things should be done. You like order and consistency. You can scan something quickly and pick out the errors. You’re like a living, breathing “one of these things is not like the other” game.

Your attention to detail comes in to play here. When decorating, you may move a piece of furniture a dozen times until it lines up with all the angles in the room and your eye tells you it’s “just right”.

This trait overlaps with Trait #11 below. Organization. Orderliness. Precision. Bottom line…you’re verrrrry picky.

How’s this for being overly concerned about details…

Perfectionists have “rules” they follow. They may not even realize they’re doing it. I know in my case, it’s not something I consciously do. It’s just the way my brain works. It’s like this: Pretend I’m decorating my mantel. I’ll try it one way, then stand back…”nope”. I make some adjustments, stand back and look…turn my head to the right, then to the left. I look at it from a different room angle and squint one eye… I move one item to the left a fraction, and move something else forward. I eliminate, I change out, I add to. I repeat this process for as long as it takes until looking at it pleases me. That’s when I know it’s right..

My books are lined up in descending order by height in my bookshelves. When I was in high school, I alphabetized my record albums by artists and created tabs. I loved coloring when I was young, but if I colored outside the lines even once, I considered that page wrecked.

Planners or new calendars stress me out. I make my entries in light pencil until I’m sure I’ve entered everything, then I’ll go back and write it in pen. Scratch outs and liquid paper feel the same as coloring outside the lines to me.

My kids used to make fun of me, but now they choose to find the way I fold my towels endearing. I fold them in thirds and pat each towel after it’s folded. I put them in the linen closet with raw edges facing the back.

When wrapping gifts, my mom taught me never to tape a box. I taught my kids never to tape a box. They still don’t. The ribbon needs to match at least one color in the wrapping paper, and at the ends of the wrapped box, the paper ends need to match. (We wrap great looking gifts).

I unplug the toaster when we’re not using it, and hide the coffeepot cords and plugs. On my kitchen countertops, I put something in front of any exposed outlets to hide them.

It’s all about the details.

Trait #11: Excessive concern with details.

Your obsession about details can leads to procrastination. When working on a project, something small can trip you up. Until you get all the details worked out on that one thing to make it “just right”, you can’t make yourself move forward.

Being this excessively picky eats up a lot of time. I know that I’ve cut myself short on time needed to get to work, or get home from work, because I was high-centered on the details of some project I just couldn’t let go of. This is not intentional behavior, and it’s hard to just cut it off. If you don’t go through your process, it can leave you with an uncomfortable or unsettled feeling. I have found that sometimes just walking away will break the hold that the obsession for details had on you.

Just to be clear, Perfectionism is a personality trait, not a mental disorder. But as is with any obsessive behavior, any of these traits has the potential to lead to a mental disorder.

Perfectionism is a risk factor for obsessive compulsive disorder, obsessive compulsive personality disorder, eating disorders, social anxiety, social phobia, body dysmorphic disorder, workaholism, self harm, substance abuse, and clinical depression as well as physical problems like chronic stress, and heart disease.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perfectionism_(psychology)

There you have it. So…? Are you a perfectionist? Do these traits describe you or someone you know? I’d love to hear about your experience with Perfectionism, and any suggestions or insight you can share. Please comment below, or go to my Contact Me page and send me an email.

Celebrating the Women Over Fifty Who Write For and About Women over Fifty!

by Patti Huck | BLOGGING, INSPIRING | 14 comments

Celebrating the Women Over Fifty Who Write For and About Women over Fifty!

I created Women Over Fifty Network to ‘inspire’, ‘support’ and ‘celebrate’ women over fifty. Another way of ‘supporting’ other women is to Connect with them.

Below you’ll find sixteen pretty amazing women writers. They write about women who are over fifty and the interests and issues related to them. They’re damn good at what they do because they themselves are over fifty and live what we live every day. They’re us. They get it.

Some of these women offer wisdom and guidance on topics they’ve lived through or are currently living.
Others entertain us with their own (sometimes hilarious) stories of the challenges of aging.
Still others have found their life’s passion and are anxious to share their crafts, work, or hobbies with you.

Scroll through the descriptions below. When you find one that interests you, click on the button to visit their blog. Support these ladies by reading one of their articles. Inspire them to continue writing for us by leaving a comment. Commenting on blog posts is one of the fastest ways to make a connection with the author, and also with other commentors. (As random as it may sound, lasting friendships began with just one little blog comment.)

Bloggers bare themselves every day, and I know from experience that writing can be a lonely world unless we know someone is out there reading.

Meet 'Leanne'

BLOG: CRESTING THE HILL

A blog celebrating Midlife, because the best is yet to come.

This is where I write about how much I’m enjoying Midlife and the empty nest.

To quote Maya Angelou: “My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour, and some style.”

I’d love you to read and leave a comment – it’s a great way to connect and share the journey.

Cresting The Hill

Meet 'Deborah'

BLOG: DEBORAH HUNTER KELLS

Looking for tips & ideas of style for the older woman whether 30 thru 80. Included are topics of positivity, responsibility for what we purchase and general topics of interest for those of maturity and growth.

I create. I research. I like to inspire. A wide range of interests is “my thing”. People surprise me and supplement my learning often.

Deborah Hunter Kells

Meet 'Nikki'

BLOG: GWIN GAL INSIDE & OUT

I am a spray painting queen, a dirt digging fanatic, and an over fifty fashion icon wanna be.

Together we can make your home and garden something to be proud of. Nothing fancy or expensive, but always fun and cute.

And did I mention fashion? I love clothes and shoes and although I may have dirt under my fingernails and paint splatters on the back of my arms, I’d love to share some style ideas with you.

I may be a Grandma but I don’t have to look like one.

Gwin Gal Inside & Out

Meet 'Pam'

Pam Lofton - Empty Nest

BLOG: EMPTY NEST

I love to share stories of our crazy lives, memories of days gone by, my many opinions, and fun things to do in our touristy town located just over the bridge from Charleston, SC.

So come on over and enjoy some discussions, a few reviews, and a lot of laughter. I would very much appreciate your company as I continue learning about life, love and lifestyle changes. The journey continues to be interesting!

Empty Nest

Meet 'Diana'

BLOG: THE WILD CHILD

I’ve been described as an old soul & an eternal child wrapped into one eclectic package. “Nature-filled” living is my passion and I have extensive study and experience in this area.

My mission is to reconnect women with their true nature, gifts and personal magic and create a community of earth-loving women who support each other to rise in their full authenticity and step bravely forward to create a more beautiful life and sustainable world.

My goal is to open women’s hearts and minds to the beauty magic and healing powers of nature/Gaia.

The Wild Child

Meet 'Caryn'

Caryn Payzant - The Midlife Guru

BLOG: THE MIDLIFE GURU

Since embarking in 2010 on the “second half” of my life, I’m committed to taking the wisdom and experience gained during my first 50 years and use it as a springboard in to the next 50.

You can count on me for trying new things, looking at old things in a new perspective, and doing all that I can to MAKE THE MOST OF LIFE AFTER 50 in the areas of healthy living, family, education, midlife musings, and meeting women of distinction over 40.

I am excited to share valuable and timely information to inspire you as you pursue your own dreams and aspirations.

The Midlife Guru

Meet 'Meryl'

Meryl Baer- Six Decades & Counting

BLOG: SIX DECADES & COUNTING

Once upon a time I worked for a financial firm in a strait-laced, crazy-in-its-own-way kind of world. I eventually quit and moved to the New Jersey shore.

Over the years I accumulated a wonderful husband, two sons, two daughters-in-law, five grandkids, assorted relatives and friends. Every summer they pack bathing suits and sunscreen and make their way to our door at the shore.

No one visits in winter, so I write…about whatever I want – travels, food-a favorite passion and pastime, current events – whatever is happening in a life lived.

Six Decades & Counting

Meet 'Linda'

Linda Luke - Life Coach Linda

BLOG: LIFE COACH LINDA

I am passionate about helping women feel more peaceful, powerful, and positive as they navigate the ups and downs of life. I am described by others as being loving, soft-spoken, and emanating a sense of calm.

I have experienced what it is like to have a yucky life. There was a time when I felt my spirit was going to die if I didn’t change. It was through my own journey to freedom that I became inspired to become a coach and help others see and experience the incredible possibilities for their own lives.

When I am not on the phone coaching people across the country, writing blogs, or leading workshops, you are likely to find me out for a walk or spending time with friends. I am a young at heart grandma who also loves to read, learn, and volunteer.

Life Coach Linda

Meet 'Janet'

BLOG: MIDDLE AGED MAMA

I like to share about the various aspects of life as middle aged woman, from health and wellness, to marriage, parenting teenagers and/or grown children, career, and staying stylish.

FASHION FROM THE REAL WORLD
I’m passionate about looking good on a budget – you don’t have to spend a million bucks to look it! I’m all about fashion from the real world, and a bit of an op shopper extraordinaire …

Middle Aged Mama

Meet 'Missy'

BLOG: MIDLIFE MARGARITAS

I’m just a midlife mom & wife who is trying to survive parenting and laundry. As long as there are margaritas, I’m good.

I love Jesus but I cuss a little. (OK maybe a lot).

I’m a humor blogger/writer and share tales of my insane family life as a midlife mom of older kids and a fantastic supportive hubby.

Oh did I mention my love of margaritas?

Midlife Margaritas

Meet 'Claire'

BLOG: WILLOW TREE CORNER

I’m a life coach, a nature lover, reliant upon my intuition and believer in everyday magic and miracles that can be found in the small things!

I’m passionate about coaching people who are going through a mid-life transition and who want to dig deep into their soul to find the very best, beautiful version of themselves.

I love seeing people like you discover passions and take action to achieve their dreams.

Willow Tree Corner

Meet 'Laurie'

Laurie Stone-Musings, Rants and Scribbles

BLOG: MUSINGS, RANTS & SCRIBBLES

I’ve been married several decades, have two grown sons, an old, timid cat, and a crazy, new dog.

I like to share insights on aging, family life, and the bumps, turns, and surprises along the way.

Musings, Rants & Scribbles

Meet 'Kathryn'

Kathryn Mayer - Writing Out Loud

BLOG: WRITING OUT LOUD

An irreverent storyteller with a foul mouth and big heart, Kate Mayer is a writer, humorist, and activist writing out loud with humor and grace about parenting, social issues, midlife, and, sigh, gun violence prevention.

Mayer shares life as she lives it in Newtown, Connecticut. Since the Sandy Hook shootings, she writes and speaks often about and for Newtown, sharing stories to connect people to create kinder, safer communities.

Writing Out Loud

Meet 'Kathy'

Kathy Marris-50 Shades of Age

BLOG: 50 SHADES OF AGE

I commenced 50 Shades of Age in 2012 as a platform to encourage and inspire women of my age. The majority of us have led a busy fulfilled life being mothers, wives and co-breadwinners.

After reaching that milestone age of 50, with kids leaving the nest and feeling unemployable, I felt a big void in my life. It was with this in mind that I decided to start up 50 Shades Of Age – a website where I could reach out to my sisters and tell them that their lives could be so much more. I wanted to be the voice for the new-age over 50 year olds to empower and motivate them to feel worthy again! We have so much to offer.

My real passion is travelling and photographing brilliant destinations both within Australia and overseas. I hope to continue to bring more stories about this very popular past-time for our age group.

50 Shades of Age

Meet 'Jana'

Janet Botkins-Cabinart

BLOG: JANA BOTKIN CABINART

Being married 31 years, a slight tendency toward a cat disorder (kept in check by a sensible husband), editing and book design, knitting, long walks with friends, reading great non-fiction and occasionally fiction, letter writing, gardening, dark chocolate, and hanging out in Mineral King in the summers.

My website is about Tulare County California. Finding, showing off, and focusing attention on the good parts of living here. Mineral King, Sequoia, Three Rivers, citrus, old buildings, general scenery of the area – it is all here for you to enjoy. Art has been my full-time profession since 1993 and CABINART is the name of my studio.

Jana Botkins Cabinart

Meet 'Janis'

Janis Heppell- Retirementally Challenged

BLOG: RETIREMENTALLY CHALLENGED

I started my blog in the months before I retired in part to work through my ambivalence about my upcoming life-changing event. Was I ready? Would I have enough to do? Now, looking back several years later, my only regret is “why didn’t I do it sooner?”

No longer needing to navel-gaze about my retirement, I now enjoy writing about all sorts of topics, including travel, relationships, photography, gratitude, and whatever else pops in my head (even, sometimes, issues surrounding retirement and aging).

So, am I still Retirementally Challenged? Yes, but in a different way. I’m still retired and I still find challenges, but the challenges in my life are mostly positive and self-directed… they are what make life interesting.

Retirementally Challenged

Remember Pen Pals? We’re Bringing Snail Mail Back. Calling All Women Over Fifty!

by Patti Huck | PEN PALS, WRITING | 8 comments

Remember Pen Pals? We’re Bringing Snail Mail Back. Calling All Women Over Fifty!

It’s not often that I’m excited to open my mail box, but for a few days around Mother’s Day this year, nestled among all the junk mail, were these brightly colored hand-written envelopes. When I saw them, it struck me how seldom I actually get mail that is hand-written and personal.

Mail has become so impersonal over the years…bills, junk mail, the neighbor’s mail, blah…blah…blah… that going to my mailbox has just become a necessary item on my to-do list each day. But that week, as silly as it sounds, I was actually excited to get my mail in anticipation of what I’d find…who I’d hear from.

Remember Pen Pals?

It reminded me of a loooooong time ago when I’d had pen pals. Did you ever have one? I had a couple and absolutely loved getting letters from them. We kept in touch for several years.

It made me wonder if people even did that anymore, or if it was another one of those “back in the day” things that had fallen by the wayside. So I did a little research. Snail mail pen pals are coming back in style again!

I found several Pen Pal Exchange sites online. Rows and rows of profile pictures were listed, most blurry or poor quality. They reminded me of dating sites. All ages, all genders. There didn’t seem to be any crowd control.

Call me old fashioned, but with the state of the world today and the importance of keeping our privacy protected, I’d hesitate to put my name out there with all the potential whack-a-do’s trolling the internet. I’m not saying there aren’t some out there that are totally legit, I’m sure there are, but my interest was in connecting with a woman that was near my own age. Someone I could develop a friendship with that could relate to my age and interests.

Then I had one of those “well DUH! moments.

My whole purpose in creating Women Over Fifty Network was to connect with women over fifty. I wanted to connect with them, and through that connection create ways for those women to connect with each other. I had noticed as I’d gotten older there weren’t as many opportunities to create friendships, yet I knew there were millions of us out there who were looking for those friendships…camaraderie, encouragement. Someone they could share their fears with, learn about new adventures from, laugh about aging with.

Facebook groups and forums can be a wonderful source for meeting friends, but it seems when you find a good one, everyone else realizes it’s a good one too, and you eventually end up getting lost in the masses.

Women Over Fifty Network’s tagline states we will “Inspire, Support and Celebrate each other. I attempt that through blog posts, our Facebook page and Facebook groups, our newsletters, but sometimes “connecting” can only really be accomplished on a personal one-on-one level. And sometimes that’s what women our age are craving.

So…I Created the WOMEN OVER FIFTY NETWORK PEN PAL EXCHANGE

Let’s be pen-pals! I don’t mean let’s friend each other on Facebook. I’m not talking about sending each other emails that get lost in our junk folders. I’m not saying let’s add each other to our hundreds of other social media “followers”. I’m talkin’ let’s be good ol’ fashioned, one-on-one, hand-written, send by-snail mail Pen Pals.

To keep out the riffraff (did you like that ancient term?), all of our Pen Pals will be:

Women
Over Fifty
Subscribers of Women Over Fifty Network

As long as we keep everybody contained within our little Women Over Fifty Network community we should be just fine.

This will be a great way for us to connect with each other and make friends with like-minded women, right?

LET’S DO THIS!

1. Enter your first name and email in the form below. Click “Submit“. Congrats. You’re now a new subscriber of Women Over Fifty Network.

2. Next you need to confirm your subscription. Go to your email inbox to find an email from me.

3. Click “Confirm My Subscription” (this lets me know that you are really you & meant to subscribe).

4. You will then automatically be taken to the Pen Pal page to fill out your profile. I will mail your profile to your new pen pal, and I will mail your new pen pal’s profile to you.

It’s FREE. See you soon!

UPDATE 12/8/2018

Because of an overwhelming interest, new pen pal applications are not being accepted at the present time. I will post when enrollment is once again open.

Thank you so much for your interest!

Patti

Blog or Website? What Makes Them Different?

by Patti Huck | BLOGGING, LEARNING, TECHIE

Blog or Website? What Makes Them Different?

Blog or website? Which is which? Are you confused? It’s not surprising. With all the technology these days there are so many terms flying around it’s easy to just throw your hands up and check out of the internet/online world. But don’t! We’re Baby Boomers who are all starting to age juuuuuust a tich, and the best indicator of that is us not keeping up with what’s current. Remember grandma and grandpa? I don’t know about yours, but mine seemed to be okay with staying firmly entrenched in their era. Bless their hearts. My grandma was a sweetheart, and very simple. She’d let me talk on and on and pretend she was interested although was clueless a lot of the time. I always knew when I’d touched on a subject that was beyond the decade she’d stopped learning when I saw her get that glazed over look. After I had finished explaining, I could count on her response. “Oh? That’s nice honey”. I don’t want to get that way and I also don’t want you to. So, let’s get this little website/blog thing cleared up.

We’re going to take a look at three types of websites and what their purposes are: 1. Websites WITHOUT a Blog. 2. Websites with ONLY a Blog. 3. Websites WITH a Blog.

1. Websites without a blog

Notice the menu across the top of the website below. It does not include a blog.

What is a WEBSITE?

A website, for the most part,

contains information that remains the same (is static).
its content is mostly centered around products or services the business offers.
unless there is a chat feature, its communication with you is only one way. A website speaks to you, not with you.

What’s the Purpose of a website?

The purpose of a business website is to convince website visitors that they should become customers of the company. When designing a business website, the goal is to structure it so that it is easy for the prospective customer to understand the products the business sells, or the services the business offers. It provides the information that is necessary for a prospective customer to make the decision to buy the products or services their business offers, and make it as easy as possible for them to do that. A lot of times this is done through images that are inviting, and colorful, or by posting sales that can’t be resisted.

Business Websites are the Modern day Business Card…

…except on steroids!. Most businesses these days have a website. A website can provide a business location and phone number just like a business card, but with room to add multiple pages of images and descriptions it becomes a giant brochure putting that tiny little business card to shame. Unlike a business card that got stuck to the back of a drawer or shoved in a deep jeans pocket and gone through the wash cycle, a business’s website is always easily accessible online. Additionally, a business website is able to reach millions of people online, whereas you have to meet a person face-to-face to hand them your business card. Common businesses having a website without a blog would be restaurants, doctor’s offices, car repair service, etc. NOTE: A website without a blog, is just a website. Websites have the option to add a blog to their website. You would say “I went to their website.”

2. Websites with only a blog

The navigation menu of a blog may have a home page, an about page, and a contact page like the blog below. But sometimes a blog will list the cateogories the persons writes about across the top as navigation items in the menu. Or there won’t be any menu at all.

what is a blog? The term “weblog” (web log) was coined by Jorn Barger in 1997. The shorter form “blog” was coined by Peter Merholz on his blog peterme.com in 1999. -Wikipedia I’m sure you’ve heard someone say they ‘blog’, or that they ‘read a blog’ or ‘wrote a blog’, or a ‘blog post’, or ‘an article online’. Right? They are all referring to this type of website. Posts are updates that the website owner write regularly. They are listed chronologically on the site, with the most current usually at the top. A blog typically…

has content that is regularly updated.
is educational, entertaining, informative.
is informal, shows emotion, and is relaxed.
is interactive and allows the reader/customer to communicate and participate.

what is the purpose of a blog?

Websites with only a blog are created because the creator is only interested in blogging. They don’t normally sell products or services. They just want to write. A blog is a website that is like a diary or journal. Bloggers (a word for people who write on blogs) often randomly write about their opinions and thoughts and what may be going on in their lives. Some bloggers create blogs to share an interest they have, such as travel. The blogger might write about their travels, share pictures of their adventures, and may offer travel tips based on their experiences. Whereas websites without blogs may be professional, a website with only a blog tends to be more friendly, informal and relaxed. Typical blog only websites would be people writing blog posts about their interests: travel, crafting, a sports interest, hobbies. Or lifestyle blogs: parents of twins, divorce, or like the sample above – my sister writing about having kids after 40 (she’s hilarious – read it HERE) . Other popular blog topics are written about health, fitness, makeup, and fashion. NOTE: All blogs are technically websites, but you may say, “I went to their blog”. Even the owner of the blog may refer to it as their blog instead of their website.

3. Websites with a blog

Notice the navigation menu of the below website does include a blog.

Why do Some Business websites Also Have blogs?

Because a website without a blog is so impersonal, a lot of smart businesses are now adding blogs to their websites in an effort to build relationships with their customers. For instance, instead of a spice company just displaying the spices they sell on their website, they may start publishing recipes on their blog showing readers how to use their spices in mouth-watering recipes.

Who would need a website with a blog?

Women Over Fifty Network (this website) is a website with a blog. I needed the features of a website for a place to keep static information:

Instructions to readers about how to submit their inspirational stories to be published on our website
A page that explains how Women Over Fifty Network began and what my purpose was in creating it
A homepage (basically a summary) outlining the benefits and value of becoming part of our community.
A place where they could access free courses on subjects that might interest them or books I’ve written.
A place that provides useful information and resources relevant to women our age.

Yet at the same time I needed a blog to be able to write regular blog posts.

Blog posts allow me to share experiences I’ve had that may be relatable to my readers
They let me share with them subjects I’ve researched that they’ve expressed an interest in
I’m able to get feedback, and have conversations when they leave their thoughts in the comment section after a blog post
When readers subscribe to my list, I’m able to communicate with them, form an actual relationship and get to know them

NOTE: A website with a blog is called a website. But you might say “I was on their website and read a great blog post.”

Which should you choose?

Decide what it is you want your website to accomplish. Go back and read the reasons for choosing each of the three types of websites. Lay out what features you’ll need. Will your site contain only static information? Are you planning on writing a blog? Do you have products you’d like to promote? What is your purpose? To inspire? To motivate? To make connections?

This was my thought process when deciding, and the results

Who is My Audience? Women Over Fifty What is My Purpose? To inspire, support and celebrate women over fifty, and encourage them to be the best they can be. How Will I Accomplish That? Through blog posts, online courses, physical products, digital courses, eBooks, & offering my branding and web design services.

A website with a blog gives me wiggle room to add additional things when I’m ready. For instance, I’ve always wanted to design products specific to women over fifty. I recently added a store to my website with the few products I’ve currently designed, but room to add more.
I also do branding and website design, and when I’m ready to offer those services, my website with the ability to add unlimited pages, will allow that.

My goal is to take all the ideas I’ve had in my head and incorporate them into my website to create a community of women over fifty that will never have to feel alone or isolated.

I so hope this has been helpful.

–If you have questions, please comment below and I promise I will reply.

–If you’re starting an online business or blog, you may be interested in joining our Women Over Fifty Solopreneurs and Bloggers Facebook Group. Click HERE to join.

This post is #1 in the “Blogging for Baby Boomers” Series.

Be sure to go to your email inbox, find my email to you, and confirm your registration. Talk soon!

Sentimental Keepsakes: Keep Them Without Taking Over Your Storage Space

by Patti Huck | EMOTIONS, NOSTALGIA, ORGANIZING

Sentimental Keepsakes: Keep Them Without Taking Over Your Storage Space

NOTE TO MY READERS

I’m trying to live a more minimalistic life by getting rid of some of the clutter in my home. If you’re a sentimental person, you know how difficult that can be.

Instead of blowing through storage bins and quickly mucking out closets and drawers, I find myself sitting in the middle of the floor going through old photos I ran across, reading old letters, smiling and crying simultaneously as I relive old memories.

While searching for ways to help me let go of my treasures, I remembered the following article I wrote several years ago. I’m taking my own advice and wanted to share it with you.

Memories of Childhood

I went to a Catholic school through the 8th grade. Nuns wore habits, were strict, and enforced rules and punishment. It was a life of rituals, uniforms, memorizing prayers and poems. Education was taken very seriously and consequences doled out for falling short.

I learned piano. I made lifelong friends. I won a National penmanship award. I kissed a boy for the first time. We hid behind the church during recess and played poker on the church steps. We wore white lipstick (that the nuns roughly wiped off). I walked to and from school and rode my bike to meet friends. It was a childhood that isn’t typical these days. My rosaries, holy cards, report cards, class pictures, etc. are all saved in a cigar box.

I went on to public school and became social. I met new friends, fell in love (several times), played sports, was a cheerleader, went to prom. I loved those years. My mementos let me relive those years of being young, having a strong athletic body, not being able to imagine myself at the age I am now, and dreaming of a future that resulted in a totally different reality.

Memories of Family

My mom was my best friend. When i married and had kids, she was who I called first to share good or bad news, get advice, or just to gossip. We sewed together once a week in our BPFC (Be Prepared For Christmas) club. We shopped. We shared recipes.

Mom died on my 28th birthday, when my kids were 2 and 3. I was devastated and it took me years to feel halfway normal again. Holding on to some of mom’s stuff, in an odd way, is holding on to a piece of mom.

Memories of an Earlier Life

I married at 21. We had a good couple years of marriage that produced two great kids. His job took him in and out of town. We grew apart. The marriage ended 9 years later. That was years ago, we remain friends, and each of us are happily remarried, but the things I’ve kept from those years are tied to a marriage and time when my kids were part of a two-parent family. So I feel I need to save those things to pass on to them.

Memories of Children

I was a single mom for most of my kids school years. It was us against the world, creating memories, tackling life head-on, and living our lives to the fullest as best we could. Although those years were a struggle financially, they were some of the best years of my life. I’m proud of the adults my children have become, and I’m proud of myself for powering through some really difficult years that resulted in the relationship I now have with my kids. The “things” I’ve saved from those years are precious to me.

Are You a Sentimental Person?

So… how do you get rid of sentimental things if you’re a sentimental person? First of all, who says we have to? I’m a sentimental hot mess and have trouble letting go…of anything. When I love someone (or something), I love it hard! I cry easily.

My kids saying “I love you, mom” always causes a lump in my throat.
Seeing the 12th man kick in when watching a nail-biter Seahawks game (GO HAWKS!) makes me cry.
Holding a baby, ANY baby, brings tears to my eyes – every stinkin’ time!

So I’m sorry to all the minimalists out there who coldly advise getting rid of sentimental clutter because they’re just “things”. Yeah, blah, blah, blah. Maybe they are just things, but there are some things I just WILL not and CANNOT let go. I say, if you’ve got the room for it, and it means something to you, KEEP IT!

I do agree, though, that saving everything that holds a memory can get out of hand. So here are some ideas for choosing what things to keep, uses for the things you save, and minimizing the space needed to store those things you can’t let go of…

Sentimental Paperwork

Elementary school artwork and projects, report cards, detention slips, essays, etc. Letters, cards, and notes.

Pull out your favorite few, or one item for each school year. If you can’t dump what remains, pack them all in a storage container and label it. If you don’t revisit that storage container in the next few years, throw it away without looking through it again, or ask your kids if they’d like to have them.
Take pictures of your favorite ones. Store the pictures on a disc or jump drive. Make them into photo books and gift them to your kids.
Make a scrapbook or shadowbox.

Sentimental Clothing

Your wedding dress, the bunting your baby wore home from the hospital, the t-shirt you bought in Mexico, your grandma’s pillbox hat, your cheerleading sweater, your dad’s favorite belt buckle, your favorite jeans from four sizes ago.

If they make you happy, turn them into display pieces. Make a shadowbox with pieces of these items grouped with pictures of you/them wearing them. Turn all those memorable t-shirts into a quilt.
If you’re saving clothing you hope you’ll fit into again, GET RID OF THEM! Although you may be holding on to them for motivation, I don’t know about you, but if I get back down to that size, I’ll be celebrating by buying NEW clothes!

Sentimental Items

Your grandma’s china, your dad’s favorite belt buckle, the framed picture of your great-aunt, your mother-in-law’s wedding ring, your mom’s old cookie press.

Use it. If they’re functional, and will serve a purpose in your home, use them. Take a quick picture of them and put them in your drawer or cupboard. Everytime you use that item it will bring back a happy memory. So, use grandma’s china. If you break some pieces, it’s okay. Mom would get a kick out of you struggling to make spritz cookies using her old cookie press, and you KNOW she’d be okay with you eventually replacing it for a new one.
Display it. Hang that old picture of great aunt Hilda. Pull out other vintage photos of relatives and group all these together on a family wall.
Wear it. Have dad’s buckle shined and polished. Wear it yourself or give it to your brother, husband, son. Use it as an embellishment on a purse or clothing. Wear the ring on a chain, or take out the stones and have it reset in a more modern setting.

Give Yourself As Much Time As You Need

I feel that allowing yourself moments to relive and revisit memories can be healing. It can ground yourself by giving you a chance to revisit your past and pat yourself on the back for the progress you’ve made. It can remind you of plans you had for your future, and inspire and re-motivate you to attain those dreams. It can comfort you.

Are You Living In The Past?

I say that if you’re thoughtful about which items to keep, take steps to preserve them properly, organize and label any containers where they live, and if you have the room to store them, then do it. Who are you hurting? I don’t think it means you’re living in the past.

It’s true that these things are just “things”, but things, just like smells, taste and touch, can morph you back to a memory or a time that is close to your heart. My mom touched that sewing pattern, studied it over a cup of coffee, made notes on it, and was excited to start sewing it once we were all tucked away in bed.

My kids held the crayon that colored that picture of the three of us, carried it home from school and proudly handed it to me with their little 1st grade hands. I’ll be damned if I’ll let those things go.

Am I wrong?

Patti Huck image and signature

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