We’re Talking About Perfectionism…

This is part two of a two-part blog series about the misconception of a perfectionist being someone who does everything effortlessly and perfectly…umm…wrong. If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, click here real quick to get up to speed, then meet us back here. We’ll wait.

In Part 1, we identified six traits:

1. You have trouble relinquishing control.
2. You are driven…sometimes to obsession.
3. You have difficulty making decisions.
4. You need to be productive and never waste time.
5. You procrastinate (having trouble getting started)
6. You say “Should” a lot (you have demanding standards for yourself & others)

Let’s move on to discover the remaining 5 traits of perfectionism.

(Click the black + in each of the blue boxes below to see explanations of each personality trait)

“Don’t aim for perfection. Aim for ‘better than yesterday’.”
― Izey Victoria Odiase

Nope. I wasn’t ready.

I didn’t have all the information I needed to do it right. If I didn’t write it, I couldn’t fail. So I didn’t write the blog that day.

I didn’t write it the next day either. Then we went out of town for a few days. When we came back, I had to catch up, so I didn’t write one that week. Maybe I needed to rethink the angle I was taking. I might go a different direction with it. I decided to do it next week when I was more prepared.

Let’s talk about cleaning house

When my husband and I were dating we lived three hours from each other and spent a lot of time on the phone. We shared so many of the same interests it was uncanny, but when it came to our personalities and how we went about doing things, we were polar opposites.

One night during one of our phone calls when he told me he’d been vacuuming, I remembered him telling me the night before that he’d just finished dusting. I thought he might be some kind of clean freak, so I asked him what was up. He said he cleaned a little bit every night…tub and toilet one night, kitchen floor the next, etc.

To me (a perfectionist) that was just plain weird. If you mop the kitchen floor and the rest of the kitchen has to wait four days to be cleaned, the floor’s dirty again. Your house is never completely clean. If I can’t clean the house completely and thoroughly, I just “pick up” until I can. He goes to the store for one or two items several times during the week. I go once and shop for the week. He reads a couple pages of his book each night. I’ll stay up half the night to finish a book.

You’re hard on yourself

You’re not only hard on yourself, but on others. You expect a lot of yourself and others. You’re the first one to notice a spelling error. If you should make a spelling error yourself, you’re mortified.

Here comes the differences again between my hubby and I. When there’s something that needs doing at the house, a lot of times he’ll just get it done. Usually while he’s busy getting it done, I’m at my desk checking ideas on Pinterest, and then planning out the best way to go about it. I get annoyed at him because I feel he rushed through it and did a half-assed job. He gets annoyed at me for always over-thinking everything, and feels no matter what he does, it won’t be right. (We actually get along really well although I know I’m not making it sound that way 🙂 )

To-do lists are your friend

Do you make to-do lists? They’re helpful, right? I agree. I write  a bullet list every night of things I need to get done the following day. Once I complete something from my list, I highlight it in yellow.

We all know though that unexpected things pop up every day. So there’s a joke at our house. When I finish a chore, my hubby says, “Was that on your list? You better add it!” I realize that this is the most ridiculous thing ever, but it’s true. If I do something that wasn’t on my list, I actually do write it down just so I can highlight it as having done it. I love seeing my list at the end of the day with all my items highlighted in yellow.

How’s this for being overly concerned about details…

Perfectionists have “rules” they follow. They may not even realize they’re doing it. I know in my case, it’s not something I consciously do. It’s just the way my brain works. It’s like this:  Pretend I’m decorating my mantel. I’ll try it one way, then stand back…”nope”. I make some adjustments, stand back and look…turn my head to the right, then to the left. I look at it from a different room angle and squint one eye… I move one item to the left a fraction, and move something else forward. I eliminate, I change out, I add to. I repeat this process for as long as it takes until looking at it pleases me. That’s when I know it’s right..

My books are lined up in descending order by height in my bookshelves. When I was in high school, I alphabetized my record albums by artists and created tabs. I loved coloring when I was young, but if I colored outside the lines even once, I considered that page wrecked.

Planners or new calendars stress me out. I make my entries in light pencil until I’m sure I’ve entered everything, then I’ll go back and write it in pen. Scratch outs and liquid paper feel the same as coloring outside the lines to me.

My kids used to make fun of me, but now they choose to find the way I fold my towels endearing. I fold them in thirds and pat each towel after it’s folded. I put them in the linen closet with raw edges facing the back.

When wrapping gifts, my mom taught me never to tape a box. I taught my kids never to tape a box. They still don’t. The ribbon needs to match at least one color in the wrapping paper, and at the ends of the wrapped box, the paper ends need to match. (We wrap great looking gifts).

I unplug the toaster when we’re not using it, and hide the coffeepot cords and plugs. On my kitchen countertops, I put something in front of any exposed outlets to hide them.

It’s all about the details.