What Language Are They Speaking?

Hey. I don’t want this to sound like a total bitch session, but I’ve got a major pet peeve, and I mean MAJOR. This slaughter of our language seriously makes me cringe – like nails on a chalkboard, duck my head and raise my shoulders around my ears kind of cringe.

Work with me for a minute. Do you mind? Say the word “button”. Say it out loud.

When you say the word, do you say it like “bu” and then press your tongue to the roof of your mouth, say “n”, and the “n” sound kind of comes out your nose? Your mouth makes two movements, right? Your mouth opens when your lips part, then when you push your tongue up your jaw moves.

The first sound is as if you were going to say butt, but you stop before you make the “t” sound. Then you quickly make the “n” sound as if you were going to say “nice”. Am I right?

I know. It sounds ridiculous to make this such a big deal, but for god’s sake. These words are being massacred. Please tell me it’s not just me that notices it.

“Button” is being said “bu-ann”. No “t”. Totally left out. Their mouth opens and says “bu” and doesn’t have to move again to slide in the “ann”. I don’t know if it’s laziness or if it’s some new slang valley girl thing that’s supposed to be cool right now. Except it’s not.

That’s the first version – there are two. Maybe one is lower valley version and the next is upper valley? Who knows.

The second version is an exaggerated, bouncy T sound. It’s like they’ve suddenly discovered the T, feel bad for having ignored it, and are overcompensating by emphasizing the hell out of it.

It’s being pronounced “but-ten”. It’s said like a 2-year-old just learning to speak. Or a pre-teen when they’re trying to be cutesy. Except these are adults speaking this way. I don’t get it, and I also don’t know why it bugs me so much, but it does. It hurts my ears.

Oh I know! I’ll record it so you can hear it. (To play the audio, click the triangle button on the far left).

“Button” – Pronounced Our Way.

“Button” – Both Versions Pronounced Their Way.

So there’s that. Is it being taught this way in school now? Are WE mispronouncing it? Whatever.

Uh-oh. Now They’re Getting Creative. The “T” Has Been Replaced.

In this new foreign language, there’s another circumstance where the “T” is being pronounced wonky. Well actually, it’s not being pronounced at all. It’s being replaced with an “h”.

Here’s an example.  The word “stretched” is being pronounced “schretched”. The sound “St” has become “Sch”.

This audio is me attempting to replicate it. My tongue doesn’t like it.

They schrike out.

They walk in a schrate line.

They don’t talk to schrangers.

I was doing a yoga video the other day and the cute little instructor was telling us to schretch and then relax. We schretched and relaxed 10 TIMES! Any idea how annoyed I was by the time we hit 10? I was anything but relaxed.

This is really “Important”. Listen Up!

And yet another word massacre. This time in the middle of a word. Again, apparently the “t” is too much of a bother, so it’s being dropped. The word “important” becomes “Impor-a”. It’s like there is a half-ass attempt made at saying the second half of the word but apparently it gets too hard, so they just let it drift off into nothing.

Seriously, that’s what it sounds like. Listen ↓

Are “t’s” that difficult to pronouce? Do they take too long? Have they been dismissed as unnecessary?

What the hell? I’ve noticed this mostly in girls of the Millennial generation (Born 1977-1995).

I was looking forward to watching a webinar of an extremely successful young person last week. We were barely 5 minutes into an hour presentation when we were told the next section would be very “impor-a”. Aaaagh! 55 more minutes of this? I wanted to hit mute and just read subtitles.

Now I know what you’re thinking, and I can’t believe I’ve taken up an entire post about this either. I admit that my ears pick up on a lot of things other people’s don’t. If you haven’t noticed this, perk your ears up when you’re listening to 20-something yr-old women speak. Not all do this, but a lot do.

Thank you for letting me vent. Comment below and p-l-e-a-s-e shed some light on this for me if you know what this new speak is all about. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, that must mean that at some point I’ve blown out my eardrums and my hearing is distorted. Tell me you’ve never noticed any of the above and I’ll go get them checked promptly.

Okay, your turn to vent. Tell me one of your pet peeves in the comment box below.

So until next time – Peace out, and hey, don’t be a schranger! (ugh)

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